Emotionally Draining TWTW # 82

Hello! If you’re one of the new subscribers who have joined this week, welcome. This is my weekly post (The Week That Was), which is a review of what I’ve been up to in the previous week, or at least as much of it as I can remember.

This last week ranks as probably one of the most emotionally draining weeks of my life. I write the intro to these posts last and this weeks is a little bit shorter than normal because of what’s been going on – details below.

On Tuesday of this week my Mum went into a care home. She has Alzheimer’s Disease and for some time now it has been progressing to the point where we cannot provide the care that she needs by keeping her in her own home or that she would be safe to be there by herself. It’s a home that she has lived in for over 50 years, but no longer recognises as her home and constantly asked to be taken “home”. Her short term memory is failing and confusion and distress are not uncommon. She no longer recognises me all of the time, frequently confusing me with other people.

We know that this move is the right thing to do for her but it is possibly the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

We can already see though that it is the right thing. She has been much brighter in the few days that she’s been there and although there is still a period of adjustment, hopefully as she settles down and becomes familiar with her new surroundings some of the other memory issues that Mum has will be less of a burden for her.

There is also a period of adjustment for us to. Many of my routines were built around making sure that Mum was okay, and doing things for her that she could no longer manage. There will of course be new routines in time but it’s barely been a week, so it’s early days.

Speaking of new routines, I almost always go to the allotment on a Saturday morning. This week it was absolutely slinging it down with rain and so I did some other things and went on Sunday morning. I harvested a lot of loganberries and gooseberries as well as some potatoes and lettuce. The weeds love the rain and so there are plenty of those but also the other plants are looking good. With everything that’s been going on this year the plot isn’t looking quite how I’d like it to be and there are a lot of plants that I just haven’t had time for this year.

I finished reading David Sedaris’ Calypso and still have Valentine Warner’s Consolation of Food on the go. I’ve also been reading C S Forester’s The Good Shepherd which is being made into the movie Greyhound. I can see that depending on how they do the transfer to the big screen, if they keep to the story then either it will be an amazing film or a bit of a flop. I’d recomend reading the book whether or not you intend to see the film.


3 thoughts on “Emotionally Draining TWTW # 82

  1. Hi, Alan. I came to this via Goodreads, and I just want to express sympathy for you’re going through with your mother. I went through the same thing a couple of years ago, and I said the same thing at the time – even though placement in a memory care facility was the best thing to do, it was the hardest thing I had ever done. For us, the adjustment period was several months, but we found a new normal. I haven’t seen my mom now in over 3 months, thanks to COVID-19. I hope you’re able to visit, since that really helps with the transition. Anyway, best wishes to you!

  2. I’m so sorry Alan. A terribly hard decision but knowing it’s going well so far is some consolation and you’ve a lot less worry now. I’m sad that you have already lost the mother you love so much as you used to know her.

    I’ve started to strim the weeds between the sweetcorn plants. I can’t keep up with all the weeding and they’re furthest apart from each other. If it works, that’ll be a method I’ll use again – I’ve plenty of room, so increased spacing is no problem.

Comments are closed.